At some point in our lives, we’ve all been caught up in several engagements. We took on so many opportunities that we find ourselves overwhelmed with projects not knowing which ones to prioritize. While it is true that opportunities knock only once and we were taught to grab them, you shouldn’t spread yourself too thin. Pursue whatever you want just within your priorities. Phoebe Mroczek teaches on how to get focused and choose the right thing. She illustrates this using a Venn Diagram with the three bubbles of clarity, action, and beliefs converging into a central point which is the focus. Don’t miss out on this episode if you want to transition from being multi-passionate to focused.

If you’d like to be considered for the Live Tour, visit www.unbecomingpodcast.com/tourguide to apply.

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Connect with Phoebe on Instagram: www.instagram.com/phoebemroczek

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Listen to the podcast here:

Multi-Passionate To Focused | How To Choose The Right Thing

If you have several projects on the go and you don’t know which one to choose or how to prioritize the one that you want, this episode is for you.

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I am very excited about this episode because it feels very relevant and I tend to attract an audience that are good at a lot of things and that have a lot of passions. This is something I struggle with and so I’m bringing you into my world. I’m going to give you some concrete, practical, actionable steps and also some good examples of what has happened in my life to want to create this show. I wanted to first thank those of you who continue to share the show with people that you love and care about. I have been asked to be a participant and a trainer in several masterminds.

I have had a bunch of audiences reach out to me asking if I could train in their masterminds, in their programs, in their courses. I am honored to be able to do that for you. If you are reading this show and you’re like, “She would make a great addition to our show,” please let me know how I can help and assist you and spread the message of unbecoming, which I think is an important one and something that I don’t think enough entrepreneurs are spending time with. This whole show is dedicated to entrepreneurs, high performing people, former athletes or former overachievers that want to get better in business and better in life. They understand that business and life are connected, that our relationships are determined by the quality of our health, our businesses and the relationships that we have.

That is all that I’m talking about on this show, how do we create this cohesion across all areas of our life? This is why I do this because it’s so important to me. I don’t do this for myself, although that is a bonus of this that I get to read back to my episodes because more often than not, I’m speaking to myself because we tend to help people that are similar to us, that are in a similar position to where we were. I speak to myself a lot on these shows in hopes that that helps and inspires you to make changes and avoid the mistakes and pitfalls that I have made. I threw out an idea about doing a live tour, Unbecoming Live. I’ve had a lot of people reach out and say how can they get involved, how can they help?

What we did was we created an application. If you believe that you could get an event space and fill it. There’s no limit to it, but I would say anywhere from 45 to 200 people in your local community. I want you to head over to UnbecomingPodcast.com/tourguide to apply to have Unbecoming Live come to your city. This could be a cool opportunity to position you as an expert to get all those people that you want in your city to see you as an expert, to see you associated with a successful show. We get over 350,000 audiences reading this blog.

I will give you a shout out. Maybe we’ll do a live recording in your city. We are very close to 100 episodes. I am over the moon excited. We have a lot going on and a lot of things that are going to happen to celebrate a momentous occasion. There are very few podcasters that even get past seven episodes. That’s when podfade begins after seven episodes. I started this show off in 2017 with the understanding that I would do 52 episodes and we are pretty much double that. I’m proud. I’m grateful to you for reading wherever you are. I am so grateful because it allows me to do what I love and that is to share and connect with people that I care about. Thank you so much. Please, if you love this show, continue to share it. If you want to be a tour guide or you want to share our show with people in your local community that you think would love and resonate with this message, please contact us. We would love to help you.

Let’s go ahead and jump into our topic. This show is for you. If you have several projects on the go and you don’t know which one to choose or how to prioritize or how to get focused. This is something I have struggled with a lot and I did an episode on being a multi-passionate person and can multi-passionate people get things done? What my message for that whole thing was that there are very few people that are passionate about several things, so do you? That was the real message. Pursue whatever you want just within your priorities. I started to realize that a lot of the people that read this blog and this might be you, they took that as permission to spread themselves thin. We know that spreading yourself thin leads to burnout, frustration and nothing going well. What I recognized was that I had fallen prey to the multiple projects on the go, none of them is doing great.

Feeling Good But Not Really Good

I had about four to five projects on the go and I had my hands in a lot of pots. That felt good because I felt needed. When people ask me how life was going, the business was going. I could hang on to that badge of honor being like, “I’m busy, I’m great, chaotic, whatever.” Whatever it was that I was saying that I thought sounded good but in reality, it was bleeding me dry. It was leaving me with the sense of unfulfillment and a feeling of dissatisfaction. Because what I realized was in doing all of those four to five projects, starting all of the things was that the feedback loop was delayed. That what I was chasing. When I started one, I wasn’t getting feedback fast enough.

I do think that as entrepreneurs, as coaches, creators, whatever it is that you do, and maybe you can resonate with this, maybe your sales cycle is quite long. Maybe you’re starting a chorus or a coaching program and it’s nine months long. You have to wait nine months in order to figure out how that person did, how you did and get any feedback unless you set up quarterly check-ins or monthly check-ins, which I definitely agree that you should do. In the grand scheme of things, that is a long feedback loop. If you’re a podcaster, you know that there’s very little feedback that we get. I try to open the channels but in the grand scheme of things, I don’t have hundreds of thousands of people engaging.

I have hundreds of thousands of people reading, not necessarily leaving reviews or sharing the show. The reality was that I wasn’t getting it, so I was constantly searching for that feedback for those quick wins, for a real feeling of satisfaction and confidence. With those four to five projects on the go at all times, I wasn’t doing anything well. I have had clients that all have stories about this because we attract that which we are. It was no surprise to me that I have lots of clients that are juggling a lot of balls. There are a lot of balls in the air. When we went back to the real stories, which all start from childhood, here’s what I was hearing.

 

Three Things To Address For Focus

Number one, I’m used to someone else telling me what to do or how to do it. Maybe that’s a corporate job or maybe that was in their family dynamics. The second one was I’m fearful of making a mistake. What if I choose the wrong thing or what if I miss out on a great opportunity later? What if one door closes and I can never get it back open? The third one was I like all of these things, so I don’t want to limit myself. I’m here to say that I get all of these because I am all of these as well. We attract that which we are and so as I’m hearing my clients say this, I was like, “I’ve been all of those.” I have been the person that was used to someone telling me what to do and how to do it.

As an athlete, you have a coach for a reason. They tell you what to do and how to do it and then you go fulfill on what they said. I did do Mary Kay for a couple of years where I was calling the shots, but I still had guidance under the MLM umbrella and then I moved into corporate. I moved to the UM. There’s so much red tape and nothing gets accomplished quickly. It’s heavy machinery. There are a lot of decisions that need to be made in order to implement the thing I was working on. It was always this other people were telling me how to do what I needed to do. When I branched out and stepped out on my own, suddenly there’s nobody telling me what to do or how to do it.

I was doing all the things and I didn’t quite know how to focus. What I want to address is going through these three things and hopefully, you can find yourself in one of those three things, if not more. What I want to do is dissect those a little bit more because I’ve spent a lot of time with people that tell themselves this, that say it out loud to their coaches because they’ve been clients of mine or it’s been me and myself. I know what this feels like used to having someone tell you what to do or how to do it. That could also be a relationship dynamic that you might be in or have been in the past.

Just remember this codependency is you need someone to tell you what to do. In some moments it could be a seesaw, so you’re telling people what to do, they’re telling you what to do. It’s that close connection and conversation that maybe you’ve have found yourself in. Also, remember that we choose entrepreneurship because we want to call the shots. This comes from a lack of confidence in ourselves. To combat this, it’s all about finding proof and gathering evidence to support the notion that you can do it on your own. That codependency is the opposite of this entrepreneurship game. We choose entrepreneurship because we want to be the boss, we want control but instead, we find ourselves in codependency, which is the opposite. It’s autonomy and codependency. When we resist it, it persists.

If we don’t have confidence in ourselves to call the shots, then that is just a belief that we can’t do it on our own, that we don’t have the skills, the tools, the guidance, the clarity, whatever it is to do it on our own. Maybe you can find yourself somewhere in there. The second one was that you’re fearful maybe of making a mistake, of choosing the wrong thing, of a door or opportunity closing. What happens if we remove the notion that there could be a wrong choice or there could be a wrong or bad decision? We know that clarity comes from action. Action is dictated by our desires and our beliefs, most importantly, our beliefs about ourselves.

We attract that which we are. Click To Tweet

We also know the clarity comes from commitment. We can only be committed if we are taking action. If we’re committed to the belief, then nothing happens. If we’re committed to the action, then we can get into momentum. We only take imperfect action and get that momentum before we’re ready, which is the best time, to start if we’re focused and intentional about why we’re doing it. It all starts and ends with four things, clarity, action, beliefs, and focus. We know that what we focus on expands. If our energy and our attention are spread across 50 different projects or even three to four. Maybe you’re not doing 50 things, but you’re doing three to four things. Remember that that energy and attention is then diluted across all of them.

If we think about something like a hose, for example. When it sprays out of the little nozzle thing, it can spray far and it can come out of the nozzle with an incredible force. If it has a bunch of holes in it, then it’s leaking water and that force isn’t nearly as strong. What are you focused on? What is coming out of the nozzle and where are you leaking time and energy? To the point about what if the door closes and I can never open it back up, I want you to know that that was my story for so long. I totally hear you on it. What has helped me was the belief that the right opportunity, the right person, the right project, the right product, the right idea will never pass you by.

If you are truly able to focus on what you want and who you need to be, the how is going to find a way. It has to because we’re so focused on what we want and who we need to be to set up to raise our vibration so that the how, the strategy, the action will find a way. The outcome will find a way and oftentimes it’s not the outcome, the way, the strategy or whatever we thought it was. Joseph Campbell’s quote, which I absolutely love is, “If you can see the path, it’s not your path.” All of these “gurus” that tell you that they have the one way to do the one thing that you want, remember that just because they say that that’s the one way that they did it and that’s the one blueprint or template to success, if you can see the path, it’s not your path.

Limiting Yourself

The third one, this might be you. If you have ever found yourself saying something along the lines of, “I like all of these projects and I don’t want to limit myself. I don’t feel like I have to limit myself.” That’s not reality. That’s not how people do things. I have said this to myself a million times and this is something I hear more than the others. This story is something often made up to support the idea that you maybe have felt or currently feel stifled or maybe silenced in your desires from the past or even your present. Maybe someone told you that you had to do it a certain way. Maybe that was growing up. Maybe that’s in your health, your spirituality or your relationships.

This belief that you’ve chosen is how you’re choosing to rebel because you’re choosing self-expression. You’re saying, “I like all of them. I don’t want to have to choose. Don’t put me in a box.” You’re trying to rebel and jump out of that box. I hear you because here’s the other big distinction that I think is important to make here, which is that this decision is often a safety blanket and this is what it was for me. It was a way of keeping me on this roundabout year after year. It was keeping me safe, but in reality, that’s what I thought. To be in that roundabout of confusion meant that I didn’t have to take big, bold action and make myself uncomfortable. That was what was running the show in the background.

 

In reality, it was making me frustrated, angry at myself and staying in this scarcity mode where I didn’t know how to get out. The truth is something in me wanted to stay on that roundabout. It feels backwards, weird and hard to explain but hopefully, I did a good enough job. I remember being in a mastermind and my coach said, “I want you to draw your current reality.” I drew this roundabout. We need to present it to the group and I was so embarrassed and I almost cried. I thought I’m going to look like bad because I’m in a room with such high achievers, in a room with people who felt focused and on fire and their lives looked amazing and here I was saying that I’m stuck on this same roundabout and I don’t know which exit to get off.

Getting Off That Roundabout

If this sounds like you, then I hear you, I see you and I get it because it’s hard to get off that roundabout. What I realized at that moment as I was presenting it, I saw everyone’s heads nodding. I had many people in that room came up to me and said, “I totally know what that feels like.” Personally, the most frustrating thing that I have ever said is, “I feel like I’m back where I was X number of years, months, weeks and days ago.” When you feel like you’re climbing up the pole and then all of a sudden, you slide right back down to where you started.

I can’t find anything more infuriating or frustrating or saddening than that. That all comes back to this one belief and this one thing that I was telling myself was like, “I like all of these things and I don’t want to limit myself.” When the reality is any of those exits with enough focus, the clarity, attention and action behind it are going to lead to exactly where I want to go. As long as I’ve been intentional about choosing which exit to get off the roundabout at. That’s the most important thing that you get off the roundabout. Because where you think it is and the point and purpose that you think it’s serving are doing the opposite. I wanted to get off the exit to take that big bold action and be that leader that I knew I could be and I knew that I was, but I was nervous to get off because I didn’t know which one would lead me there. When in reality, looking back, any of them would have.

It took me getting off the roundabout and it was that moment that I decided to get off the roundabout to choose an exit and go with it. Having full faith because I took the bad and wrong decisions off the table and said, “I’ve just got to choose.” When I chose and I made that decision, everything else shifted into focus. From then on, everything is leading to the next thing. It doesn’t matter how you get there, it’s all the focus on what you want. If you know what the end goal is, you know what the destination is. If I want to get to Hawaii, I don’t care if I’ve got to stop in Boulder or Vancouver as long as I get to Hawaii.

Protection Mechanism

I know all of these stories. I know the ideas behind them because they’ve all been me. Here’s the biggest truth that is a little bit embarrassing to say, but I’m in the company of a good friend. I don’t want this to feel like a one-way dialogue. I’m going to be honest and hope that you take this honesty and you be honest with somebody else. I know that the depth of this show then transitions into the depth I hope of your relationships moving forward. I hope to create a ripple effect of transparency, honesty, and vulnerability. Here’s what was holding me back. When I sat down with that and what I like to do is I’d like to take out the belief and examine it through all different lenses from all different angles so that it doesn’t feel like my life. I can remove the emotion from it, so it looks like I’m watching someone else’s life. That helps me connect the dots a little bit more.

We chose entrepreneurship because we want to call the shots. Click To Tweet

What I realized was that I was so nervous, scared, fearful and all of the bad feelings that if I went all-in on one thing and it flopped, it failed and it didn’t get off the ground, what would that say about me? What would my reputation become? Would everybody laugh at me? Would I be called a failure? It was all in protecting myself and helping me feel safe and comfortable so that I didn’t even have the opportunity to feel uncomfortable. This is translated across different relationships of mine where I would leave before I got left. If you’re somebody who’s been in that pattern where you want to hurt someone before they can hurt you, that’s a protection mechanism and I get it. It’s ugly and it’s not nice to think about yourself in that way. If you can resonate with that and if that strikes a chord with you, then just know you’re in good company. That has been something I’ve struggled with because I felt like what would it mean to actually go all-in? You go all-in on your business in the same way.

Let’s talk about our relationship. We all know what it feels like to fall in love and how scary it is. The first time you say I love you to someone, you’re like, “I hope they love me too.” It feels the same way. It’s like you’re dropping all your guards down and saying, “I’m putting all my eggs, all my chips on the table for this one thing. This is what I’m gambling on and I’m going to go all-in.” What is that going to say if somebody else has four aces and they totally beat you and you’re like, “I look like an idiot because I put everything I had on the line.”

The Force Than Is Created

However, what if the opposite could be true? What if you directed all of your time, attention, focus, resources, energy, everything in one direction rather than having it leaking in 27 directions? What force could be created there? That’s what I’m curious about on this episode. That’s why I want to talk about it because I’ve been preaching this whole thing about multi-passionate people and I do believe that we can have many passions and we should have many passions. When it comes to our business and when it comes to things that we care about, the focus is the key. I heard something that said, “Focus is the new IQ.” I thought that is brilliant because I totally agree. We are so distracted and pulled away from the things that matter, social media and notifications. I’m in talks with someone, we’re designing an app for business and he was like, “Notifications, how do we stay top of mind all the time because we want to bring and divert attention to your phone?”

That’s the reason that all of these things exist, why Facebook celebrates how many friends you have, who’s going live, it’s real-time and it’s distracting. How do we remove those distractions so that we can focus on the very thing that we say that we want? What would that mean for us and what would that mean if we succeeded. Some people have a fear of success, some have a fear of failure. In my experience, I have both but one is bigger than the other. For me, my fear of failure is much bigger, much greater and much more potent than my fear of success. I’m a very visual thinker and so I see it as a Venn diagram.

Venn Diagram

If you don’t know what a Venn diagram is, I’m sure you’ve seen it before in math class somewhere or some English class where it’s three overlapping circles and all of those circles overlap to one major central point. From my three circles, I see it as being clarity, action and beliefs. I’m going to go through all of them and then I’m going to tell you where they intersect at that one point and why that’s so important. In the clarity bubble, it’s what is the one project that you want to focus on? I’m telling you this because I just went through this. It feels very fresh for me. Which one project do you want to focus on and why? What feeling does that project give you if you succeeded and not even in the outcome, but in the journey or destination? I know that feels so cliché, but what are the qualifying factors for you?

 

The number one lens that I look through everything that I gauge whether or not I’m going to do a project is, “Does it feel fun, bright, big, light and impactful?” If it does, then it’s a yes and then we continue down that path. I want projects that feel fun, exciting, empowering, that tie back to my big missions in life to end loneliness, to help connection, to help people grow and understand their true gifts. That’s what this one project that I chose to focus on had to give me in order for that to tick that box. This was a pivotal moment for me when I said I’ve got to be honest with myself.

In this conversation with a friend of mine, I said, “I don’t believe that I have all the information that I need to make this decision.” She goes, “That’s a great realization because I’m asking you to go all-in for 60 days and I’m going to give you that same invitation.” However, what I didn’t realize was that I was comparing two things where one felt sure and certain, and the other one felt I didn’t have enough information. It felt uncertain. It’s comparing apples and oranges and I needed to get them both on the same page so that I could compare the apples to apples. Do you have all the information that you need to make that decision and if not, what is needed? Here were two questions that my friend asked me, which I thought were good. I have a version of these but the way that she said them to me was much more impactful.

The one question is if you spent the next five years doing what you’re doing now or doing this one project, would you be happy? Would you feel fulfilled? Would it be fun? At all of those words that in there that means something to you, happy tends to be the word that I choose or easy or light, whatever that word is for you. Here’s another one. This was the most impactful one for me of clarity, which was if you spent the next five years doing this one project or doing what you’re doing now and it flopped, how would you feel? Because here’s where my brain goes. If I worked my tail off and I did all of the right things and I made all the decisions and it didn’t get off the ground, would it be a waste of time?

Maybe I’ve been building this thing to sell it and nobody bought it. Would I be content where I was at the time either carrying on the project or putting it down? Look and evaluate this decision. Whatever the project is through the question of which project feels heavy and which one feels light? I often do this visualization with my clients where you’re going down two paths. Which one feels heavy and light? It’s a whole guided meditation that maybe I’ll create for you if you’re interested. Let me know. Send me a message. Put it on Instagram, get my attention and maybe I’ll create it for you or I’ll put it in our Facebook community.

That’s the clarity bubble. There are many different aspects, but we’re boiling it down to the most essential ingredients. The second circle is the circle of action. These are simple. Number one is what does a win look like? Because if we chose to focus on this and get specific because I know that we toss around words like successful or profitable. What I’ve come to realize is that people aren’t 100% clear. This is where the action and clarity overlap because if we don’t have clarity in the outcome, how can we have clarity in the action?

Let’s think about what would a win look like? What would success look like for this project? We can look out five years, we can look out two years and we can look out six months. For me, I was looking out 60 days. I have all of those things set, but the most helpful for me at that moment was what does a win look like in the next 60 days? The question that I don’t think a lot of people are asking is what does a loss look like? What does a failure look like? Let’s say we’re planning an event. It’s a massive event for however many people. Maybe a win would look like 100 people registered six months from now. Maybe a loss would look like 50 people signed up. At least we have the clarity in the outcome.

Clarity comes from action, and action comes from and is dictated by our desires and beliefs about ourselves. Click To Tweet

The third question is what actions do we need to set up and what habits do we need to build to create a win so that even if you do nothing outside of the habits that you build, you know without a shadow of a doubt you’ll be successful and you’ll have that win. What does that look like and what’s the action plan? That’s all I’m concerned about building here is helping you build an action plan. Because when I talk to entrepreneurs, either on our free calls or clients of mine, the reason that they’re not getting the results that they want is not from a lack of action or hard work or desire to be in action or desire to work hard. It’s because they don’t know which action to take.

What Actions To Take

I’m trying to help you clarify that and clean off that lens so you can focus on what you want by taking the right actions. The third circle is the beliefs. I talked about that clarity comes from action and action comes from and is dictated by our desires and our beliefs about ourselves. In the belief bubble or circle, here are the questions that I like to ask myself or that I did ask myself and I’m going to ask and invite you to consider. The first one is, proof or evidence that you have been successful or can be successful. What we need to do is create a file folder of wins. When have you won? When have you take action and succeeded and it’s gone well? If it’s helpful for you, which it’s not helpful for me, sometimes you could come up with if you’re one of those people that you can focus on the failure and you’re like, “That didn’t go so well but here’s why,” and we can learn from that.

For me, it’s not as important as it is to consider all the proof and evidence to gather all of that together to prove to yourself that you can be successful and that you do have what it takes. Take a few moments and think about times in your life when things have gone according to plan, when you’ve gone all-in on something, someone, a project, a product and it’s been successful. Maybe it wasn’t successful through your lens in the present moment, but at the time I look back to my Canva course and that was the first thing that I sold on the internet. Within a week, I think it was two webinars, I made $3,300 and I was over the moon. I can still feel the feelings. I know exactly where I was standing.

When I looked at the results, I was in my apartment in Berlin and I thought I had just won the lottery. I thought, “I can actually do this.” That was all I needed. If I look through it through my present lens, I’m like, “$3,300, that’s nothing, or I can’t do anything with that.” I would never have that same reaction to making $3,300. That’s not the way that my lens looks now. That’s not to say that’s not the lens that you are looking through, but what I’m cautioning you about is to make sure you’re looking at it through the lens of where you were at the time when it was a win and success. Gather that proof, gather that evidence. I want to bring you through a very short exercise because this helps me and hopefully, it will help you.

 

Close your eyes and I want you to think about the person who is doing the big thing that you want to do. If you can’t think of that person, think of someone similar. Maybe in the same industry, but somebody that you resonate with, maybe that you’re jealous of. That’s a great indication of what we’re supposed to be doing. Do you have that person in your head? If you do, keep your eyes closed. I want you to picture opening your laptop, going to your email, seeing an email from that person. The subject line reads, “I need your help.” In the body, you’re going to open it up and it says, “We’ve gotten screwed over by someone. “Our team fell through, or the venue fell through, now we’re one person short for our next event, our next session, our next episode, our next launch, could you help us?”

Turn the dial up on that excitement. Turn the dial up on the feelings, “What an opportunity.” As you think about that moment and how excited you are, you feel the pit in your stomach. It feels like anxiety. Maybe it’s doubt, maybe it’s fear. It’s heavy. I want you to turn the dial up on that. Make that feel big. Maybe it’s the tightening in your chest. Maybe it’s a pit in your stomach. What I’m going to ask you is, what is the first feeling or thought, belief or phrase that comes up for you? They need your help. You’re sitting there thinking, “I’m going to do it. Wait, but,” fill in the blank. Maybe it’s, “I’m not smart enough. I’m not ready. I don’t have enough experience. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not thin enough. I’m not far enough along.” Whatever it is, what is it?

I want you to name it. Call it what it is and without judgment, who cares? We’re trying to extract this thing out because this is the primary belief that is preventing you from the very thing that you say you want. There are other ways to arrive at the same answer, but I find that visualization has helped me get to the root of what’s holding me back. You know that I love asking alternative questions to some of the more common questions that we get. It helps get you out of the logical brain of what you think you should be saying and into the intuitive, creative side.

Rewiring The Story

You can now open your eyes. We have to rewire that story. We’ve got to change that pattern of belief that is crucial to you getting what it is that you want. I created a short exercise that’s going to help you do that and it’s in the episode Integration Guide that you can find at UnbecomingPodcast.com/97. I’m going to take you through an exercise to change that pattern of belief. Because whatever came up for you at that moment when we did that visualization, that’s what’s running the show. Your brain, your body, your beliefs are conflicted. You say you want this thing, but all the proof and the evidence that you’re trying to use to support your desire to have that thing is telling you the opposite. It’s telling you that you’re not smart enough. You don’t have enough years of experience. You don’t know what you’re doing, whatever it is. We can’t let that run the show anymore. Complete the short exercise because it’s impactful. We have those three bubbles, the clarity, the action, and the beliefs. Where they meet in the middle, that central point is focus. I’m going to ask you for the next 60 days to commit to focus. What do you need to clear off your plate to ensure that you can focus on the right tasks?

In my example, I knew I wanted to pursue this new show. I said, “If I’m going to start pursuing the new podcast that I’m starting, what needs to happen? What do I need to clear off my plate? How do I clear the path so that I can walk through it?” What I needed to do is I looked at this show and I said, “I’ve got to batch all these episodes.” I carved out time to do that. At the time where I started the race, I had my shoes tied. I knew where I was headed. I’d run the track before, all of this stuff and I was ready to go. What do you need to clear off your plate to ensure that you can focus on what you need to focus on?

We can't give ourselves a powerful 'yes' if we don't know what 'no' sounds like. Click To Tweet

Now that we have our 60 days and we know what a win would look like, we’ve got to list out everything that you need to make that happen and keep asking. If you don’t have a coach to do this and you’re working on this at home, then what I want you to do is list out everything that would make a win and then list out all the tasks that are associated with those wins and keep asking yourself, “What else? What would that look like and how would that feel?” That’s all you’ve got to ask because then you’ll have a list. It’s like a task to-do list. It’s perfect and it makes everything so much clearer.

What you have to do is go through because I like to know what’s around the bend. If I don’t know what’s around the bend, I have done this enough times maybe that I can predict some of the things that are going to be around the bend. What has helped me is to visualize or brainstorm what obstacles could get in your way as you are committing to these 60 days? Maybe it’s birthdays, holidays, parties, people, vacations or new opportunities. Sometimes with the new opportunities, it’s just giving yourself the language in order to turn things down. We can’t give ourselves a powerful yes if we don’t know what no sounds like.

When we say no, we can say, “No, thank you.” If you’re like me, I get a little uncomfortable telling people just no, even though that’s a complete sentence, says my mom. However, I know that I want to have the language and create that language for myself, so it feels more comfortable. Here’s what a no sounds like for me as I’m in my 60 days. I just say, “I appreciate you thinking of me. Unfortunately, I don’t have time for that right now. I’m currently working on or excited by this.” I had all of these things collected in my Notepad app here on my computer before I started those 60 days.

If there was something that was pulling me away or a new opportunity, the other part of that is, “Could I circle back with you in 60 days once I am able to pick my head up above the water, would that be okay?” They respond and they’re like, “Circle back.” Here’s the important part is you must set a reminder on your phone or if you use Boomerang like I do on Gmail, then Boomerang it. If no reply, send this back to me in 60 days or at the end of that 60-day period, so then you can erase it from your brain and it no longer occupied space in your head. Give yourself the language. Give yourself the tools, the resources that you need to almost create a buffer bubble to keep yourself safe.

We are creating the egg curtain. When you were a little kid and you had to keep the little egg safe and you put all this cotton. You need to create that bubble to protect yourself for the next 60 days because everything that is trying to pull you away is a distraction. It’s feeding into all of those things that we talked about in the beginning. The next thing is now that we know what our winds would look like, what tasks are associated with that, what obstacles might get in the way. We have the language and the tools and we know how to clobber the obstacles. We need to break it down into weekly goals. Sixty days would be eight weekly goals and then even further into daily tasks.

 

This is a long, seemingly tedious process, but I guarantee if you take the time to do it, and maybe it’s weekly goals and then on Sunday night, you break down the weekly goal into daily tasks. As long as you dedicate a certain amount of time to do that because maybe you got so much done in week three that week four is no longer relevant. All those things that you thought you were going to do, now we have new information. Keeping it up to date and staying on top of things, making sure that you have five to ten action items in order of priority. The highest priority would be something that directly affects the overall outcome. All the other things we can fill in the blanks, but that way you know what you need to focus on and then your goal for that day is to cross off as many things on your to-do list as possible. Make it sound something fun.

The next thing is accountability, “Who do you know in your life that could help you stay focused?” I know I have several women around me and for some reason, I needed that female support. Whether it’s a mastermind or a coach or however you’re doing it, make sure that those people know what your overarching goal is. One of the things I found to be most impactful, especially as I’ve worked with coaches, is to lay all cards out. I asked my clients this too. I’m like, “Here’s the overarching goal. What does it look like when you start to sabotage? What’s your trump card?” For me, when I hired a personal trainer in San Francisco and I did this to him, he was very impressed. I said, “I want to lay this all out for you. When I start to act confused or I talk to you too much about your life and your relationships and I make it all about you. That’s me not wanting to do the exercises. I wanted to let you know ahead of time that this is what I do. This is my pattern so you can identify it to make me do the thing that I need to do.” They’ll appreciate it.

Whoever your coach or mastermind member or accountability friend, that’s going to help them help you. That’s going to help you stay laser-focused on what you need to do. 60 days fully commit. Here’s the overarching question that I need you to answer for yourself because if you’ve read this far, something’s resonating, “What would it look like to go all-in on you? What would it look like to go all-in on the thing that makes you the happiest, that makes you the most excited? What could be possible for you over the course of the next 60 days?” That’s the question that I’m going to leave you with.

To quickly recap, we have the Venn diagram, clarity, action, beliefs and then they all meet in the center at the focus. I hope that you enjoyed this episode. This was a long one. I hope you found some value in this for you and I cannot wait to know what you’re going all-in on. I would love to ask you to share this show with people that you care about. People who need to go all-in on their dreams. If somebody shared this episode with you, know that they care about you. Know that they need you to go all-in on you so that it gives them permission to go all-in on themselves too.

If you haven’t yet left a review for the show, please as we’re nearing 100 episodes, I would love a 111. That would feel great. Let’s aim for 111. Please leave a review. It takes two minutes and it means so much to the longevity and the quality of the show. If you want to be on our live tour and you think you would be a great tour guide, you could bring together anywhere from 45 to 100 people in your local community or you already have an event and this would be a great opportunity to merge parties. I would love to invite you to apply for our live tour, UnbecomingPodcast.com/tourguide. I would love to come to your city and impact as many people as you know and love.

I know that good people attract good people. That is why I’m reaching out to you first. The last thing I want to leave you with which is what would it look like to go all-in on you? Who could you give permission to go all-in on them? Oftentimes, when we see other people going in on themselves, their business, their dreams and what they truly want, it gives us permission to do the same. Go out and choose the thing that you’re going to focus on. Choose one project for the next 60 days. Message me on Instagram, send me an email and get ahold of me on Facebook. I want to know what that one project is and what it would look like for you to go all-in on you. Thank you so much for being here. I love and appreciate you. I will see you on another episode.

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